The other day I was editing one of the last chapters of ’The Love Project’ and I realised that there was a certain fear I discovered through writing that we don’t often acknowldge: the fear of succeeding. In my case, I’m talking about that fear that grabs you by the throat when you actually find yourself in a relationship that’s not built on drama.
We’re so used to worrying about things going wrong, that we forget how able we are sometimes to also worry about when things are going right!
At the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, he would text me a lot and shower me with attention.
Which was great, right? Wasn’t that what I had been looking for? Wasn’t this the reason why I created the Love Project?
But in reality I was very suspicious of what was happening. There had to be a catch somewhere!
And instead of worrying that a guy I liked didn’t get in touch with me, I worried that he texted me too much! I silently hoped that he would pace his attention, subconsciously freaking out that things would go wrong any minute, that I would get bored with him or he would get bored with me, or we would be both attacked by an army of zombies should we continue to engage with each other that much!
As if answering my mental request, I kept checking my phone for the usual message from him and did not receive anything for a very long time. And that’s when I realised I was being completely irrational and silly. Of course I wanted him to text me, of course I wanted it all, the attention, the love, the flirting, the joking, the longing! What was I thinking?
When he finally texted me, I felt blood returning to my face. I promised myself never again to worry about things going right! Because right is how things are supposed to be and because we have the incredible power of creating our own reality. Our worries will come true if we let them.
Have you ever been in this situation? Have you ever worried that your prayers have been answered too quickly? Let us share and make fun of our most irrational fears right here!