Reclaiming the feminine

It’s been almost a year now since I’ve started to work on The Love Project. And during this year I’ve learnt a lot of things. Things like how essential self-love is in the pursuit of romantic love, that playing a power game in dating means that somebody always wins and somebody always loses and that’s not love, that we create our own reality through our thoughts and that if we want a chance to find love, then we must attack the old thought structures which are telling us that we are not good enough. But I’ve also learnt that we must find a way to become more feminine. Or actually to reclaim our true nature and let it come alive again.

We women of today have been taught in so many ways that if we want a chance to being taken seriously then we should hide our boobs behind buttoned up collars and our legs under layers and trousers. And if we chose to go the other way and not hide our feminine traits from vicious public eyes, then we’d be branded as easy and probably a little bit stupid. Unfortunately neither of these two scenarios are what things should be. Because being feminine doesn’t necessarily mean showing off large amounts of flesh and wearing towering heels. It means feeling vulnerable and strong at the same time, it means flirting with life (as a friend of mine rightly said recently!) and allowing the feminine energy to run through every corner of your body even if you’re all covered up and not wearing any make-up, it’s about kinder and gentler solutions to the problems. Being feminine is an attitude some of us have kind of forgotten…

In 2000, American actress Sheila Kelley trained as a pole dancer for her role in ’The Blue Iguana’. Not only that she loved it, but she started a company called The S-Factor, teaching women how to pole dance and feel feminine in the process.

‘This is more than a campaign, it’s a global movement. 80% of women in the United States are unhappy with the way they look. We’re not going to let that continue. It’s a global epidemic, and elevating the feminine is the cure’ she says. ’It’s vital for the survival of women.’

There will never be a perfect moment in time when I’ll be 100% happy with the way I look. There’s always a bit of fat I could lose, a firmer body I can get, a nicer hair colour, a better foundation, brighter skin etc. But I can learn to love that small percentage that isn’t perfect 100% of the time. And that’s what being feminine is: exposing yourself truly and loving yourself no matter what.

Some women get that feeling of empowerment through pole dancing, or burlesque, or salsa classes or classic ballet. It doesn’t matter what it is, but as long as it will make you feel sexy, empowered and free, it’s most certainly worth a try. We all have to start somewhere to bring that femininity to life. And if anyone ever asks you to rethink your wardrobe, I suggest giving them the old Erin Brockovich treatment:

’Well as long as I have one ass instead of two I’ll wear what I like if that’s all right with you.’


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