“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.”
I’m not going to lie. This decision wasn’t easy. In fact, I’ve been procrastinating quitting my job for over a year… . I’m not going to bore you will all the details, all the tribulations, all the ping-pong-ing between making decisions and changing my mind, but the truth is that one day it all became pretty clear – I knew what had to be done.
The world out there is not the scary part of making a life-changing decision. The potential struggle for money is not what keeps us bound to our desks, incapable of breaking free and living our dreams. What keeps us paralysed is the disbelief that we are worth it.
I know because I’ve been there. And I know because I’ve been fighting this disbelief for many years. Some methods have been more efficient than others, but I believe two recent daily activities have been instrumental in changing my life as I knew it.
At the end of June 2013, I started a gratitude journal. I went into Paperchase and looked for the perfect notebook. I wanted it to be special, I wanted to give it the right importance so I opted for a chunky hand-stitched flowery notebook. And I started a ritual I have been trying to be compliant with every day: to write at least three things I was grateful for that day. And there have been many things that aroused a feeling of gratitude in me since I started the project. If I look back at my gratitude list throughout the summer, there have been mentions of lovely sunny days almost every day. It didn’t surprise me when writer Sarah Alderson (whom I had the pleasure to interview at the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival a couple of weeks ago) mentioned gratitude as something that living in Bali has taught her. Gratitude is a key ingredient to living a happy and fulfilled life and training the gratitude muscle with a daily journal was definitely a great place to start.
I have also started to write Morning Pages somewhere at the end of July 2013, following Julia Cameron‘s advice as part of my creative recovery. And waking up earlier to write the pages has become a wonderful morning routine. It was in the morning pages that I found comfort, I asked questions and I received answers. It was in the morning pages that I decided to leave my job and start living the life I always wanted to live. It was in the morning pages that I broke into pieces and then glued myself back up again. It was in the morning pages that I surrendered my quest for love and gave God the pen to write the ending of my Love Project for me. And He certainly did, better than I would have been able to. His ending exceeded all my expectations.
I’m about to leave full-time employment with the hope that I won’t be forced to return. I’m about to start writing my future in a new way every day. Things that seemed distant and impossible, are now within reach. Hopelesness has become impossible, I have been given gifts and answers. And I’m convinced that with a little bit of gratitude and soul-searching every day, we can all say yes to our Personal Adventure.