6
Mar
2016
2

The mother of all mothers

I used to think I was an unlucky girl because my father was an abusive alcoholic whose behaviour inflicted serious trauma on both my mother and myself. But now I think I am a very lucky girl because I may not have been given the best father but I have the mother of all mothers. And today I want to extend my gratitude for having been given the most powerful force in Universe: concentrated motherly love.

When I began searching for The One and launched The Love Project three years ago, I had no idea I was going on a journey into my past. I thought I was just using modern methods and technology in order to maximise my chances to being in a relationship, but before that could happen, I had clean up my inner closet and get rid of a skeleton or or two. I had to let go of my ingrained beliefs about men and relationships, to let go of my only benchmark – my parent’s relationship – in order to meet someone new with the right attitude and with my heart in the right place. And as ever, my mother was there for me, a partner in my journey from the moment I first opened my eyes onto the world and until one of us closes them for good.

My mother and I were always a team. My father, merely an outsider no matter how hard he tried to win me by taking me out for dinner and buying me toys and clothes. He couldn’t give me what my mother did: pure love, because he had never received it himself.

My mother was the voice of reason anytime I needed her advice and support., and, surprisingly for a woman living in a small town in Romania with very little experience of the wide world, she was capable of understanding the most modern and evolved of ideas. If it wasn’t for my mother’s advice, I would have never patched things up with my fiancée when things looked shaky between us because I wouldn’t have known how. It was my mother who reminded me of the old school values that are still needed between two people to allow love to flow.

“I love you no matter what,” she kept saying to me even when she didn’t agree with what I was saying because she knew sometimes knowing I was loved was more important than knowing I was right.

mother and daughter

No matter what, my mother always put my needs before hers. And today, on Mother’s Day, I want to remember that and be thankful to her and hope that one day, I will grow up to be just like her.

 

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